The author of this blog has been called all kinds of names. Readers of this blog, however, have called him "brilliant," "bitchy," "witty," "insightful," and even "the perfect schizophrenic." You be the judge and tell him what you think.
"If Suzy Size can panhandle to pay for trips around Asia, then make money on a book she wrote about all the sex she has on the road, I am not too shy to ask for donations to pay for my face lift."
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19 February 2007
As promised, this is the second part in a series of stories about my quest for a more youthful appearance.
Boy, was I behind the times when it comes to cosmetic surgery. The film noir days of Humphrey Bogart with a mile of gauze bandages wrapped about his head are long gone. Even liposuction--a modern miracle if you ask me--is quickly becoming outdated. We have entered the era of the lunch time face lift.
Thermage, for example is positively astonishing. Radio frequency energy applied to the problem area heats the collagen your skin is made of, and the collagen responds by tightening. This also stimulates the growth of new collagen fibers in the skin. The result is almost as good as a surgical face lift. No injections, incisions or anesthetics are required and the procedure takes as little as twenty minutes, depending on what you want to fix. Thermage is really great for chins, necks, and anything else that sags.
Mesotherapy is another possible treatment for some parts of the body that need to be reduced. A series of injections literally liquefies the fat. Your body then disposes of it naturally. Several different sets of injections may be required. It is said to be an uncomfortable procedure, but so is being fat.
For most of us, general anesthesia, slicing, stitching, bruises and a week or more of recovery time are no longer even necessary. Thanks to new technology, correcting small but bothersome aesthetic problems like flabby tummies and thighs longer need to be invasive. There are several new methods available to melt away fat, erase wrinkles and tighten skin that are quick and nearly painless. The most amazing of them involve lasers. What I call the "fat zapper" (some call it "Smart Lipo) is probably the most miraculous. A tiny incision is made in the skin, through which a slim wand is introduced. The doctor moves the wand in a sweeping motion and a laser zaps the fat. Your body takes care of the rest by itself. Local anesthetic is used. No pain. Minimal bruising. Unbelievable.
Fortunately, hospitals and clinics in Thailand are on the cutting edge (an unintended pun) of technology and the costs are substantially less than what you might expect to pay at home. One clinic in Bangkok does more Thermage treatments than anywhere else in the world. If you want a little Thermage on the face and some Smart Lipo to shape your waistline or hips, you could save enough money to pay for your trip and enough time here to really enjoy yourself. Sounds so good to me that I won't feel guilty eating that Double Whopper with cheese for lunch today.
One more blurb about medical facilities and I will be finished. Be patient.
Incidentally, speaking of fat, my friend Darika and I were recently interviewed by Spice Magazine, Thailand's English language gay glossy. Have a look here. I'm sure you will enjoy it. Or maybe not.